You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
