i would punch a child for taco bell
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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