Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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