on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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