Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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