He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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