one might say we're banned from that church
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
