he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
