If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world