If that was your dad, he is hot
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.