i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
