honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
