It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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