yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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