There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
