we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
