We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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