John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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