New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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