Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
