I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
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It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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