he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
