After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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