I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
