drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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