Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
