you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
