fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she woke up with a sticky ear
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize