at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
