she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
