looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize