She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
