yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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