That's intense
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
