R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize