My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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