Umm I'm too high to move.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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