You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Randomize
