looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
