xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
