Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We left the knife in your bed.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
