i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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