need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize