I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
