All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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