We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
