everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
