Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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