I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
