You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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