It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
