She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize