Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
