i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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