saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize