you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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