Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
