A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I love having hate sex.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
