Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize