Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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